(Un)happy Feet

Two weeks ago, some lovely ladies and I were celebrating our friend's 30th birthday with pitchers of sangria at a tapas restaurant. It was a very cool atmosphere with dim lights, candles and fun music. As we were enjoying the celebration, I happened upon a disgusting sight across the room. There were two men sitting at a table similar to ours, and they were probably within a 27-32-year-old age range (old enough to know better). One of the men had his shoes - excuse me, his sandals - off, and he had his feet up...ON THE LEATHER SEAT. INAPPROPRIATE. What if these two had been sitting on MY leather seat two hours earlier, and I had to sit in man-foot germs all night? Sorry if your dogs are barking, but please put your feet away.

A month or so before, I was sitting in a waiting room before an appointment. Another woman was awaiting her appointment as well, and as she was perusing a magazine in one hand while she was absentmindedly picking at her bare foot with her other hand. Since when did it become appropriate to touch one's bare feet in a public place where you will likely handle reading material others will touch? What if you're going to shake someone's hand? No, thank you, I will not shake your foot-hand.

Summer is difficult; it's hot, and so it requires a different wardrobe which includes less clothing and more skin. Therefore, here is the rule of thumb: consider your footwear to be underwear; do not take it off in public. If you must take off your flip-flops in public, please refrain from touching your feet. You wouldn't touch your private parts in public, would you?

Cyclist Cynicism

I can't stand cyclists. I know I'm required by law to "Share the Road," but I'm not required to like it. First of all, I hate their stupid tight and bright clothing, except for the fact that the brightness helps me see them. They still look ridiculous, though. I hate their hand signals, too. I don't care where they're going. I especially hate that they want to be part of real traffic, but then they'll break the rules when it suits them. "I'll be the first 'vehicle' in this long line of traffic at the red light. Ooh, no cars are coming. I think I'll just go!" How about you can't have it both ways, Bike Jerks? The worst is when they are riding their stupid bikes to work in the winter. Don't! First of all, aren't you cold in your dumb, tight clothes? I'm not, in my nice, warm car. Also, the roads are narrower due to the snow, and the snowbanks often get so high that visibility is difficult for real commuters. Finally, the ice makes traveling more dangerous for cars and bikes alike, but if some biker takes a spill on the ice right on front of my car, it will be "my fault." NOT FAIR.

In other news, I hate making small talk with strangers. This often happens before or after work with people that work in the same office building. It's so annoying - just because we're in the elevator together doesn't mean you need to break the silence. Talking about the weather or what a long week it's been is unnecessary, unless I know you. Even then, talking about the weather is usually just filler conversation. Don't feel like you have to talk to me because we're sharing space for a few minutes. I know you're trying to be polite, or perhaps you're uncomfortable with silence. I'm not. I don't know your name, just the floor you work on, so I really don't care that you have "a case of the Mondays."

Guys without shirts (and one other jerk)

I hate when men walk around outside without shirts on. I don't care how hot it is outside. At least put a tank top on (still gross-looking, but slightly more acceptable than shirtless). The only time it's OK is when a guy is on his own property mowing the lawn or something. Once he's on the sidewalk or off his own property, it's stupid. I don't have gross chest hair, but I still have to wear a shirt.

Also, I went to the doctor the other day, and the receptionist was a grouch. As I checked in, I told her that I had been married since the last time I had been there, so my last name has changed. The receptionist then raised her eyebrows and said, "That's going to be fun" (about changing my name in my records). Ummm...as if I'm the first patient to have been married and had to change her name in her medical records. It's not my fault you don't like or know how to do your job properly. Furthermore, the only thing she did while I was standing there was cross out my maiden name in two places and replace it with my new name. She could have at least pretended that she was updating the computer to show how "not fun" the process is. What a jerk. Thanks for not congratulating me on my recent marriage but making it seem like a problem for you, Receptionist.